blue january

blue is my favorite color. it’s a recurring theme in my life, but it’s usually about the color or the stone. i covet all of the blues: cobalt, cerulean, turquoise, periwinkle, lapis, sapphire and especially tie-dyed indigo. blue by any other name is just as good. I collect pale stonewashed blue rocks and surround myself with jewelry, bottles & suncatchers, walls and art with deep cobalt shades of blue. i scour vintage shops and ebay looking for the perfect lake and sky combination print with one of the ‘good’ blues.

but in january the blue was emotional. i slept and slept, and still needed more sleep. if you know me, you know i can sleep. on the reg, i get at least 9 hours of sleep a night. i am never in charge of weekend breakfast and have to be coaxed and bribed to the table with saturday coffee or cold diet coke. especially at the river. in january, i upgraded to 14-15 hours sleep a night (3+ times a week) by going to bed right after work. it was exhausting to say the least. i have never felt so down in my life. i sought out brightness in good coffee, visits with friends, walks with my dog. re-bingeing netflix during my waking hours. laundry piled up. my car filled with wrappers and garbage (teresa was mortified and tried to clean it out for me). in january i wore the same pants to work all week and slippers twice. after christmas my basement flooded and i had to empty out a closet while it dried. naturally, i piled the closet contents on one-half of my bed where they remain today, february 2. i am still literally sleeping on the wrong side of the bed, if that doesn’t tell you something.

i believe this blue january phenomenon is global. since 2005, the third monday in january is called blue monday according to a UK travel company. apparently blue monday is the most depressing day of the year based on already broken new year’s resolutions, debt, fading christmas memories, stress, low motivation and sleep. but since weather is instrumental to human mood, this event only applies to the northern hemisphere. some have dismissed this phenomenon as nonsensical, but this year i believed it in my bones. in january, i let it hit me hard. i should have seen it coming and if i hadn’t been so damn grouchy, i may have been able to put up a good fight.

please consider listening to an unrelated song ‘blue monday’ by new order, which was not written for the occasion, but instead as a response to their fan’s disappointment that they never played encores.

as far as i’m concerned, january 2023 can suck it.

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